God help us!

    On the 26th of this month, in a landmark decision, the Supreme Court, wiped away the right of the people to vote on an issue and have that vote stand as law. It is not new that our nation is in a cultural war but it seems that we are now a house more divided than ever. We find ourselves drawing out dividing lines as has been done before in our history. The patriots drew lines  because of an oppressive, tyrannical king. The states drew lines over slavery and almost destroyed this nation in so doing. In more recent history lines were drawn over segregation and abortion. We now find ourselves standing to one side or another of a dividing line on homosexual marriage. As a follower of Christ my position is clear and I will not defend that subject here, but rather ask the question, "How did we get here?".

The answer, quite frankly; we fell asleep. More to the point, we abdicated.

To abdicate is defined as:

 1. To cast off, 

2. To relinqish. 

It is noted in the dictionary that it "implies a giving up of a position with no possibility of resuming it".

    During the last century the church made several gross errors. First it decided there was a difference between the secular and the sacred. Then, it fell asleep. The country was secure. We had fought two world wars. We rebuilt our nation. People were living better than they ever had. Why with post war credits, they could build homes, get a degree, and settle into a nice comfortable life. 

When the church awoke they found that the nation was actually in turmoil. There was a generation of people who wanted more. More freedom. More stuff. More passion. And frankly, can you blame them? Who wants to sit in a pew of a sleeping church who has no purpose or passion. Unfortunately, "the more" they looked for was in the secular. 

    For some reason, the church had decided there was a difference between scared and secular. That Christians should quietly live out their lives doing their jobs and attending church on Sundays and never the twain should meet. For some reason many believed that Christians should not get involved in the political arena and that their faith should be shared not verbally but their quiet lives would be a testimony for their neighbors to see. 

    In the last generation we awoke! We find ourselves in a country we don't recognize, wondering how do we fit in, or better yet, what do we do? We are, it seems, in a place with no possibility of resuming our position. That's the good news, because we are no longer in control. We have fallen. Thankfully, we have fallen to our knees and find ourselves crying out to God. Like Habakkuk, we are asking God, "why the wicked flourish and injustice continues?"

Make no mistake, God will answer! He has not fallen nor did He ever sleep. He has brought us back to the place of sacred. There is no secular and sacred within the church! There is only sacred! As we are told over and over in scripture, "whatever you do, do all for the Lord!". Whatever you do! Whatever! When we rise up, when we walk in the streets, when we teach our children (or the children of others), when we go to our jobs, and yes, when we involve ourselves in politics, it is sacred. We, the church, the bride of Christ, cannot divide ourselves into lives of secular and sacred. For the follower of Christ, their is only sacred.

    Do not be afraid my brothers and sisters to engage in this most recent political fray. Engage! Engage the Gospel! Engage Christ! We are His people, His emissaries to a lost and dying world. We have the answer and the answer is Christ Jesus! He is our glory and the only hope that we have. As I have gotten over my anger over the decision of the Supreme Court I find myself looking forward with anticipation. I cannot wait to see the power of God now that we have been brought low. What are our most treasured Bible stories? Daniel in the lions den? David and Goliath? Noah and the flood? Are these not when the faithful child of God found himself in a situation in which only God could conquer? And what of the cross? Did the disciples stand firm at the cross? Heck no! They ran away because they were terrified. But God conquered in this most glorious and final battle ever! Jesus won over sin and death! 

    We find ourselves in the same position as Daniel, David, and Habakkuk. We are now ever dependent on God to fulfill our call to this nation: to go forth and spread the gospel to all people. Let us "look to the author and finisher of our faith" as we run this portion of this race. Let us be faithful, not double minded between secular and sacred! Let us anticipate God's victory in this world.

Thank you

     "Thank you for coming to get me." Her voice was so small amidst the cheering crowd of swim parents that I wasn't sure I heard her right. My oldest daughters whipped around as she surely heard it too. I looked down into her beautiful little face and asked, just to be sure, "What did you say?" She looked back with her almond shaped eyes and said once again, "Thank you for coming to get me."  My heart melted and tears sprang into the eyes of my oldest daughter. She understood. This was not a, "Thanks mom for picking me up at school", or even a "Thanks mom for driving out in the middle of the night , because I changed my mind about spending the night". This was thank you for coming all the way to China to make me yours. She smiled into my face and then was caught up again by the cheering crowd. I hugged her closer to my heart wishing, as all mothers do occasionally, that I could freeze that moment in time.
     I've thought about that, "thank you for coming to get me" statement. I know it was not flippant or light hearted. It was something so deep down inside that tiny heart that understands. She knows that we, "...drove into the night, got on a plane, flew over the rivers, and over the mountains, and even over the top of the world (which we did), all the way to China to bring you home". She knows because she wants to hear the story over and over again. Her story; the one which began with another mother somewhere in China. A mother who tried for four months to care for my beautiful girl and for whatever reason found herself in a situation where she could not. Her story; the one which includes the orphanage where she was given her beautiful name which means, "may the light of the moon keep the dust off of you". Her story; which is about her foster parents who, I am sure, did their best. Her story; a forever family, seven brothers and two sisters, who all adore her. Her story and mine.
     "Thank you for coming to get me." As I lie beside her little sleeping body, listening to her steady breathing those words floated through my brain. I wondered when was the last time I said those words. I thought about what adoption meant for our family; three years, a journey to the other side of the would (coming from a person who is rather claustrophobic, 15 hours on an airplane is not ever something I thought I could do), and the monetary cost. Yet this wasn't really what was foremost in my mind. I thought about sacrifice, but not ours. I was thinking about Jesus. I pictured Him in heaven, laying down His crown and scepter. I thought about Him putting on humanity. Wow, from throne to animal trough! I thought about His 33 year journey which would lead Him to the cross; the brothers who didn't believe Him, the friends who denied Him, and the people to whom He came yelling, "Crucify Him!"The death which He suffered. And, praise God His rising from the dead and returning back to His throne. He did that in order to "come and get me". By His great sacrifice He made it possible for us all to be adopted.
Thank you, Jesus, for coming to get me.

Identifying marks

After the wise men visited Mary and Joseph and gave gifts to The Christ child the Bible tells us that "Mary pondered these things in her heart". I think she was overwhelmed by this great outpouring of love that she just had to hide it in her own heart and treasure it before she was ready to share it with others. This is one reason which I have not shared here our journey to china to get our precious daughter. The other reasons are so much more practical. First, after the birth of each of my children it basically took me three months to feel like life was normal again and I had figured out how to run this household with the addition of another person. Second, I don't have very much alone time to just be able to sit and write. My time right now goes to assuring a little one that she is loved with an everlasting love and that I am not going anywhere! Finally, I'm just plain tired! I've done a lot since coming home from China but that is another story.
     Several years ago I was preparing my morning cup of tea (and when I say cup, I mean the large 32oz turvis tumbler). I placed the tea bag in the cup and poured boiling water in, then placed the cup on the counter. As I turned to get the milk my hand hit the cup and the entire contents spilled on my thigh. Horrified and in excruciating pain I ran to the bathroom, tore off my pajama pants and searched for something to put on it. I grabbed the aquaphor and slathered it on only to realize this was an even bigger mistake! Aquaphor is oil based so it sealed the burn. As my skin began to feel the intensity of this burn I grabbed a skirt, climbed into my car and drove myself to the ER (joe was at an away soccer tournament). As I told the ER nurse what I had done they quickly ushered me back and them proceed to remove the aquaphor. This was as painful as the burn itself but it had to be done in order to put on the right thing; silvadine. The Dr. came in and examined my leg and began to prepare a shot of pain killer I explained that I couldn't take anything strong because I had driven myself. He was concerned with the level of pain I would experience when he treated me but I assured him this was the only way.
      Needless to say, a burn takes a long time to heal and the healing process involves reabsorbing blisters into your skin, caring for the ones that don't and finally the stage of intense itching. My burns healed but left a scar on my thigh which if I lie in just the wrong position still hurts slightly.
     A year and a half ago, in an entirely different hemisphere, on a continent with billions of people, a little girl was chasing her "sister" around the house. They bumped into a table and a bottle of boiling water spilled scalding the feet of the little girl. She was taken to the Dr. who began the long and painful process of healing. Her feet retain the scars of this horrible day and she often recalls the story to me in bits of broken English trying to explain this the best she can. The interesting thing is that she loves to hear the story of my burn and see my scar. She caresses my scar and says "poor mama". She knows. She understands, she identifies.
     Isn't it shocking that out of 43,000,000 orphans in this world God would choose the one who shares an identify mark of pain? Or is it just a testimony to the greatness of our God? Our little girl, once alone and in intense pain has joined a family where her mama bears the same marks! (coincidence? No way!)
     Lest you think this is just my story let me help you to understand this is all of our story. Christ, alone, without pain relievers, forsaken even by the one who loved him most, was crucified. His hands and feet bear the scars of love. He laid down His life that we might live. So each time you have physical pain, His scars testify that He can identify with you. The next time you grieve because of loss or sorrow know that He too identifies. Even when you willfully choose to go against God's best and demand your own way, Jesus identifies for He experienced all sin on the cross. We do not have a savior who is far from us but One who is in the midst of our pain. He cries out to our hearts I know, I understand, I identify with you".

Random thoughts

It is very early, I couldn't sleep. Over the last couple of days I have been to the ear, nose and throat Dr. As well as Pri-med. I've been given four prescriptions (sinus stuff) and one shot in the backside. I couldn't fall asleep last night because of a headache and it woke me again at four am. I can't take my headache medicine because I'm fasting for blood work. I'm telling you all of this because when I woke up this morning not only was I aware of this huge ache in my head but also in there was this chorus floating around. It took me a minute of straining through the headache to figure out the words rolling around in there then I did they went something like this: "How He loves us so, oh how He loves us"

I kind of chuckled thinking it's ironic to be in such incredible pain yet there's God speaking to my heart of His love for me. He wrapped His arms around me and spoke those words to my heart. In the midst of my pain He, like a father, put His arms around me, and said the words each child longs to hear..."I know you're hurting but I love you". Two days ago a friend in my study on prayer commented on a sentence in the book which asked the question, "do you walk around all day with the deep sense of Gods love for you?" (I'm paraphrasing). Now, if you knew something of the last week we've had you might say, like Job's wife, "why don't you just curse God and die?" Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, but we did have several friends with near death emergencies as well as the news that Joes dear step mom is moving into a new stage of cancer. Our hearts are full of the sadness, joys, and brevity and of life on this earth (eternity is not brief but that's another post). Maybe one of the reasons Job didn't curse God, rather choosing to trust Him in the midst of horrible pain, was that he was well aware that God loved Him. I am grateful that God, who in all of His majesty breathed out the stars scattering them across the universe also breathed His whispers of love to my heart.

"All of a sudden, I am unaware of my afflictions by the weight of your glory. And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections for me;oh how He loves us so. How He loves us"

More random thoughts...John, Noble and I are reading, The Mitchell's Five for Victory, a story about a family during WWII. In there story there is a little orphan girl who is eventually reunited with her grandfather. When this happens, Joan Mitchell remarks that "Eunice is no longer an I but now she is a we!" Joan talks about how lonely it must be to be "an I." We immediately thought of our Myra-Frances who, though she doesn't understand yet what it means is a "we" is no longer just "an I". I can't wait for her to discover what it means to be a "we". (although in this house, frankly there can be a little too much we sometimes). The simplified Chinese translation for I Love You is 我爱你....I wonder if God is whispering that to Myra-Frances' heart? (And no, I have not learned Chinese....glorious are the uses of the Internet!)

Random thought three...Sarah just finished reading Gone with the Wind and we were discussing how Scarlet could have had Rhett Butler but kept holding out hope that Ashley loved her. (After watching the movie Sarah was even more shocked! That Scarlett didn't choose Clark Gable!). It is crazy how she help onto little threads of hope of being loved when she could have had all she wanted but was too blind to see it!

I guess these thoughts aren't so random after all, He loves us, oh How He loves us!!!

*The song "How He Loves Us" can be found on iTunes under Me in Motion,

the Lifted up Hands EP

Confession #1. I am a terrible blogger; as I am with anything which requires for than five minutes of my free time. I am not a very disciplined person. I don't have what one of my friends calls, "finishers disease". If something goes unfinished it does not stress me out too much. With those things which must be done I make myself accountable to someone. By hosting the Bible study, I must do my homework. When working out I make sure someone is going to ask if I actually did it; guilt goes a long way with me. Then there are the things which,if left undone would completely run amok: laundry, the mess in my car, child rearing, etc...
Here I will make an attempt at writing a post which makes some sense, though I've already been interrupted about fours times!
Confession #2. Following The Wild Goose is sometimes difficult. Sometimes we don't see the handiwork of God in our current situation. Sometimes we don't hear His gentle voice in our hearts, leading and guiding. Frankly, sometimes I just don't trust Him. If I can't see Him and I can't hear Him then I conclude He must not be working in my life. This clearly is a lie, which I know in my head but sometimes it's so easy to believe. Let me explain....
When I last posted eleven months ago we were deep in the adoption process; getting fingerprints, applying with various government agencies, but most of all, waiting! It seems this process goes in bursts. You have certain things which must be done in a very timely fashion. Once done, you would think you would move on to the next square, kind of like a game of "Candy Land". This is much more like "Chutes and Ladders". At any time the Chinese government can and does change the rules. When this happens you find yourself sliding back down to square one. And so it goes; one giant step forward, three steps backwards. I always hated the game of "Mother may I?"
During this time of waiting, it is so easy to think that God is inactive. That He too is waiting for the Chinese government. How wrong that thinking is! It speaks of a very shallow faith, because faith by its very nature is to trust and believe when you cannot see. So while we were filling out reams of papers and becoming qualified to adopt, life went on.....laundry got done, children got reared and even working out became part of my routine again. Then came August and a day which would change our lives and perspectives. I got the phone call and email I had been waiting for and dreaming of; here was a file of a little girl who needed a forever family. Immediately I called Joe at his office, to hear him declare, "Isn't she beautiful,!" This was the confirmation which I had prayed for, that Joe would know her when he saw her. Quickly we filled out all of the paperwork only to begin the long wait for the Chinese government to send us a letter of approval.
During this waiting period we were allowed to send our daughter packages. We put together a photo album with all of her new brothers and sisters and mommy and daddy. We shipped it off (with a teddy bear) to a land as remote to me as the moon. As she was three at the time I wondered how much she would comprehend. I'm sure she knew that she now had a family, but never having had one before what did that even mean to her?
Confession #3. I am NOT God (but I got a glimpse into His mind during this time).
God's word tell us that He is. Though we have never seen Him in the flesh (except for those who lived at the time of Jesus)does not negate the fact that He exists.
God's word tells us that He works on our behalf. Our daughter has no idea all of the work we have gone through to arrange her adoption. She has no idea of the papers filled out, meetings we've gone to, time spent trying to procure the right documents and of course the thousands of dollars we have spent. She only knows that somewhere she has this thing called family.
God's word tells us that He came once in the flesh and will return a second time. Frankly, though I believe with all my heart that He did come in the flesh in the God/man we know as Jesus the Christ (or anointed one), the coming again is sometimes puzzling to me. How will He come again? Will I know Him when He does? When will this happen? Could it be in my lifetime? Again, I am reminded of our daughter in China who is now four. Does she wonder when or even if we are coming? Does she get up everyday anticipating or arrival and go to bed each night disappointed we did not come for her? With each passing day does she believe less or does she grow stronger in anticipation?

If I could speak to her I would tell her; "We are coming! We are preparing a place for you. We are making everything right. Certain things must happen before we can come, but do not doubt; we will come for you. Noting can stop me!" I will move mountains to get to my daughter and bring her home.
Isn't that exactly what Jesus said to us, "I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and get you" .
With child like faith, I choose to believe Him. I know He is working on my behalf. I know He is making things ready. I KNOW He will come again.

The New Normal

I know I have eaten a lot of words in my life, but what I wouldn't do for an extra hour of sleep right now. (as long as I don't have to give up another hour of daylight to get it). I am beyond tired these days. My doctor assures me it is nothing but I know it feels like something. (since the time of writing this as a draft, we discovered I have Epstien Barr or better known as chronic fatigue).
Enough of my whining! As you know bc most of you were there, we celebrated a most beautiful event in November. Joe gave Elizabeth's hand in marriage to Mr. Evan Hicks. We were so happy for them both. It is a blessed thing to be married. It is like no other relationship on earth. It is so unique that it is definitely God ordained. Marriage is both the best, and at times the worst thing, I have done. It strains everything in my make up to die to my own wants and desires and to live for someone else! What a beautiful picture of Christ; He dies for me that I may live for Him. I am His bride.
We moved right from there into Christmas. Wow, how much do I love Christmas. I love the way it smells; cinnamon and pine. I love they way it sounds. It is never too early for Christmas music. My new fav this year was Stanton Lanier. (December peace). I definitely love the way Christmas looks; trees inside! Yes! I don't care who thought of it first and if it started as a pagan tradition, it was a good idea! I love the way our tree looks; handmade decorations, mementos from all of the places we have been, and of course the angel from Nuremberg! Ok, three things I don't like about Christmas; spending too much, stress of forgetting someone, and lines!
Now we are in a new year. 2011! Wow how does that happen? We are trying to get back into routine. Ha! I'm not sure what that is. Routine is good. It keeps life "normal". (As if there is such a thing as normal....if anyone finds it let me know). Is it normal to feel this tired? Is it normal for a nine year old to be on medication because if they don't do something an even number of times their little life spins out of control? Normal? How normal is it for a child to wait half way around the world waiting for someone to call Mommy, yet no one comes? Oops, i got a little out of control.... Back to routine and the idea that maybe I have a little bit of control over what happens today, (again, HA!)
It is really now February, and I am grateful for another day, another week, another month.I look forward to another beautiful wedding this year. In May, Ben and Rachel will get married. Blessings abound. Soon there after, we hope to be traveling to China to get our daughter! We will let you all know as soon as we know her.

Sleep Schmeep

"But you get an extra hour of sleep!" It's all I hear! Don't those peple realize what is coming? people everywhere, all a twitter over what? an extra hour of sleep! Haven't we been warned over and over again in scripture NOT to be caught sleeping? Yes, but do they care, no, they are selling their soul for an extra hour of sleep!
Have they forgotten what is to follow? Dark!!! Yep, as I gaze out my window at precisely, 4:26 pm the shadows of darkness are already creeping in. By 5:15 it will be black out there. Black when we get out of swimming, black when we get out of bed!
Did these same people pay no heed to the vikings, who in desperation threw a wheel onto the fire then rolled it flaming down the hill; all to tempt the sun to come back! Or maybe we should think of all of the cultures who built their dwellings facing the sun....there was a reason. How about those in the middle east who kept fires burning brightly to help the sun battle the evil darkness.
Do not they realize that with that extra hour of sleep comes, ugh, dare I say it, WINTER! (Okay all of you who live north of me can laugh but there is a reason I settled way below the mason dixon line!). Dont try to tempt me with all thise fluffy thoughts of winter like, sweaters, hot chocoalte and fires....it's all a ruse to try to hide the fact that winter is well, cold and dark.
I'm not buying it people. I will NOT go silently into that good night. i will shout it out.... bring back day light savings time!

Fasten Your Seatbelts

"...it's going to be a wild ride". Ever had one of those years, you know the kind.... you're treading and treading and your nose is just at the top of the water. Every once in a while you take a gulp of water in and then come back up to the surface, gasp for air, and keep treading. I thought, a little naively, that after Jake and Sam left for college and my addition was done (therefore my additional "family members", aka, the workmen were gone) life was going to settle down. We would get into a nice easy pace, set the cruise control, and travel along with our five remaining. It was going to be sooo easy. Hmmmm, sounds a little like "just when you think it's safe to go back in the water". I should have heard the shark music in the background!

When I left you last August, we were finishing up testing for ADHD on a couple of boys. We got all the tests back, decided that medicating would be best and headed off, again naively, with prescription (and confidence) in hand. Caleb was a text book case.... mildly ADD, took the prescription, had a stomach ache for a few days, meds work great... now making straight A's! (We always knew he could) Yeah Caleb! Noble was A case for the text books. The meds had terrible side effects and we tore through several prescriptions, (all having really bad side effects) before finding the one he is currently on. It helps to a degree, but this dear son has a triple whammy....., ADHD, Dyslexia, and OCD (okay who out there doesn't do "evens"). Of course he still makes us LOL, and is GLAW (growing like a weed, I made that one up).

Keep treading....... as disconcerting as it was to lose Jake to college it was even worse to realize I had lost a driver! Let's just say that Sarah and I did the happy dance this week as we did our last 4 am wake up for practice!!! The things we do for our children! All I can say is they better be prepared when I get old... I mean really old. The kind of old where I can't drive and I'm back in diapers old! On the flip side of losing a driver we gained a lot of time with Gracie (age 5) as Ben adjusted to single parenting. I am so very proud of him. He has done a great job!

Take a deep breath. Whee Christmas arrives! And with it, we get a call from Elizabeth's beau that he would like to speak to us! I have to say, I love this young man. Who wouldn't love a young man who comes to you and says, "we have maintained our purity, I love your daughter and I'm asking you for her hand". Ok, girls hold out for a man like this!!! They are out there. My young boys are in GIT, (our own little acronym for Gentlemen in Training). They get points when they open my car door, hold doors open for people, and pull out my chair. If he's not doing these things for you girls, move on! All of that said, as wonderful as weddings are they are no picnic to plan! I feel the need to come up for air just writing about it.

So you see why I have been strangely silent this year. I have been following THE WILD GOOSE all the more closely but holding on for dear life as He veered off in some crazy directions. Oh, did I mention, we are half way through our home study, and have our eyes on China once again? More on that later, my legs are getting tired. I think I hear the music in the background, "Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming".i

boys and bunnies

I've heard it said that when you die your life flashes before your eyes. I had that experience recently when I dropped off my son at college only it was his life flashing before my eyes. As this was the forth time doing this I thought I was prepared this time... no such luck. As I drove away from the dorms, before I reached the end of the parking lot, willing myself NOT to look in the rear view mirror, I remembered the day he was born. In an instance I remembered what he got for his fourth birthday ( a playmobil fort) and when his brother hit him across the nose with a stick.

My heart began to break as this season of mothering him came to a close. I drove down the streets, tears rolling down my cheeks, not caring who saw me because most of the cars were probably filled with other crying parents. What did I do about this? Why I called my Mother of course. She could commiserate and cry with me. She could remember with me all the years. Mothers are good for that you know.

I got home and Joe and I cried together and then like all good parents we got up, went upstairs and started to throw away everything the boys left behind. Between the two boys we sent off this week and moving brothers into their old room we carted off EIGHT bags of trash and countless to Goodwill. We now have a spotless upstairs (I don't think we've seen that floor in years) and we start a new year of school around here.

Speaking of the other boys, the ones still here.... Yesterday Noble excitedly told us there was a baby bunny on the porch. Apparently Annie our beloved house cat brought us a present of a brand new baby bunny. She often leaves us gifts, but this one was still living! Of course John and Noble were thrilled because they just knew that God had dropped a (much prayed and begged for) new pet right into their laps. I knew baby didn't have a chance and would probably die by morning but like a dutiful mother I sought the advice of professionals (facebook friends and google). I made a late trip to WalMart in search of kitten formula. (who knew such a thing existed) Sadly the best I could do was goats milk. But I figured if bunnies could drink kitten formula, they could probably tolerate goats milk. So I headed home armed with an eyedropper and a can of goats milk.

John was an excellent mother and cradled bunny (now named Wallace) in his arm (baby bunnies nurse on their backs) and dropped tiny drops of milk into bunny. He seemed to perk up a little as I coaxed him to pee with a wet cotton ball... (the website said to mimic the mommy but licking it was out of the question). The boys wrapped Wallace up and settled him down for sleep.

Morning came only to find Wallace's cold limp body in the cage. Tragically as the boys were having the viewing the feline perpetrator of the murdered bunny crawled up on the porch and dropped another one at our feet. Here we go again. As we learned mother bunnies only are in the nest once in the morning and once in the evening to nurse them (can you say bad mothership?)Brother bunny, Flavio, was in even worse shape so by the time we got home from church we held a dual funeral.

As you can see this has been an emotional week all the way around.

What is pure and undefiled religion? For that matter what is religion? We are surrounded by all kinds of people who say they are religious. Certainly many things, good and evil have been done in the name of religion. And if religion can be undefiled can it also be defiled? Good questions....... of course you can quit reading here or you can be adventurous and keep reading thus gaining access into my thoughts.....

If you looked up the word you might find something like "a social belief system" or if you looked in a Greek lexicon it would tell you that it is "external ceremonies having to do with religious discipline". Personally I'm not in love with the word religion (mostly that has to do with the fact that I believe religion is man's way to God NOT God's way to man) but since it is God Himself through James who uses the word I'll get on with it. Religion can indeed be undefiled and fortunately for us God tells us what that looks like..... James 1:27 tells us it is to visit the widows and orphans in their distress (and to keep yourself unstained by the world). I've thought so much about this recently as we have tried to follow "the Wild Goose" on this particular journey. We keep trying to "visit the orphan" but get thwarted at every turn! Maybe there is another way we can visit the orphan? Maybe we are limiting ourselves (and God) when we say we only want to adopt. Maybe God can use us differently?

Has God blessed you financially? Be kingdom minded with your resources. Has God given you arms to hold and cradle the orphan... seek them out! Has He given you talents which you can use to spread the word that there is a plight of the orphan? Have you even asked Him how He would have you respond to this need?

My arms feel empty because I want to hold a new daughter or son. I want to hold a child and have them call me Mommy. But God's plan is bigger. If I adopt one child I can help one child. BUT, if I commit money every year I can help several children EVERY YEAR!!!

Want to know how you can draw near to the orphan? Go to newdaycreations.com/foster Go to the right of the page click on "how to help".... you will have so many options, one time help or sponsor a child.

This my dear ones is pure and undefiled religion (it is, as I have said before, the heart of God)
Now, as for that religion being man's way to God... instead seek out a relationship with Him and I think you will be well on your way to pure and undefiled....

My heart leapt when I got the email; "we have news about Emily". I held my breath as I read on....... Emily has a "forever family" !!!!!! Selfishly,a little sadly, it is not us. Our agency worked very diligently to find Emily and her paperwork. They thought they had. They received some paperwork last week but the name on her paperwork was not her name. Each child living at Newday Foster Home has a home orphanage. Though they may not have lived there for years, that is who maintains their paperwork. When they sent Emily's paperwork it had a different name than the one they were looking for. They immediately matched this child with a waiting family! We rejoice that God has answered our prayers and given Emily a new name.

I tell you this background to say; this was no mistake!! This has God's fingerprints all over it!! We have prayed from the beginning that God would place Emily in the best family for her!! We have sought God's will throughout this process. It is no mistake that Emily had a "mistaken name" for this matched her with the family that God wanted her to have. What I'm trying to say is:

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose." Rom 8:28

That being said there are 143,000,000 orphans throughout the world (please read that number again). That is staggering! All of these children are waiting for forever families.... we await the one God has chosen for ours!

Ever notice if you loose something of value everything in your world comes to a screeching halt til you find it? That's how I was the other day. After a run I got back to the church parking lot where I park my car only to discover I had lost my car key! (Not the key itself that I could easily get a copy but the push button FOB!) It could be anywhere!!! Thankfully Amanda was with me so we cruised around looking but eventually gave up and retrieved my extra key from home. The next morning I couldn't forget that key so I donned my Mizunos once again and started retracing my run from the day before....


I started out the first mile hopeful but not counting on it. As I lapped mile after mile, my eyes scanning every inch of the road and shoulder I thought a lot about loosing things and searching for them.... More specifically, I thought about the woman in the Bible who looses a coin and spends the day searching for it. Now I know this woman did not have much in the way of furniture. She certainly did not have a sofa the size of a truck that could easily swallow your entire wallet if you're not careful. She did though have cracks in her floor in which a coin could get stuck. She also had very small windows that were not even eye level but closer to the ceiling... not much in the way of light. This coin also represented a good portion of the grocery money for the week. Is it any wonder when she found the coin she went to the other women and they partied?


We too are searching for a lost coin.... as our agency searches for Emily's paper work it is becoming more clear that this is going to be VERY difficult if not impossible. Thankfully we serve the God of the impossible. AW Tozer said (and I'm paraphrasing) "why do we only do those things which we can do in our own strength?"


I am reminded that God searches for each of us. He yearns for us to know Him. I once was lost.......

"The best laid plans of mice and men"....sometimes things go off without a hitch but sometimes, let's just say, there are surprises! Yesterday Amanda, my daughter in law, and I ran in the Seaside Half Marathon. This was the perfect run.... Florida Gulf coast, sugar white beaches, sun, warmth...Ahhh, it was going to be great! Of course we woke up to freezing temperature and high wind advisory. Ah well, being runners (and having paid to do this) we weren't going to let a little cold weather stop us.

We made it to the parking lot where the shuttles were taking us to the start line, us and 2000 other runners. Needless to say, and fortunately for us, they delayed start time. After all, this is Seaside and they're a little bit on island time anyway. After depositing our stuff for the after race party we made our way to the start corrals. I opted to skip the ten minute milers and hang with Amanda in the eight minute corral (and by the way I passed most of those people I'm guessing so did a lot of other runners). The start sounded, I wished Amanda well and headed off towards the beautiful sugar white beaches. After about 500 yards the course curved north away from the beautiful sugar white beaches and headed straight into the wind! We ran past some stuff which I really didn't look at because I was trying to weave in and out of a mass of runners an find my place in the pack. Over a bridge and through the woods, this was definitely not going by the Gulf waters, oh well it was nice to be out running anyway. I stripped off my outer jacket, cranked up my itunes, and worshipped God through running. (After all it was Sunday morning... perfect worship!)

By mile four I found who I'd be running with, blue jacket lady, "life shines" shirt ladies, and leopard skirts. I found myself thinking about my new niece, Lily. Yes, their best laid plans had gone awry when at 37 weeks they had an emergency c-section and 3lb, 12 oz. Lily was whisked off to NICU. This has been Lily's home as she has fought to reach four lbs. and maintain her body temp. I've watched how my brother and sister in law have adapted and overcome as they became permanent fixtures in NICU and began their lives as parents there. I've prayed for them as Lily is running her own race to the 4lb mark. They have been given a most precious blessing in Lily and they are cherishing it. Way to go.... keep running Lily!

As I closed in on mile five the lead runner passed me on his way to the finish line! (This was an "out and back" run) We all cheered him on as he headed to victory. Each runner behind him also got cheers and well wishes. Some of them were too much in the zone to notice but some of them passed back words of encouragement to us slower runners. What a feeling to be encouraged by the best! I thought about how we always ought to be encouraging others, some ahead of us, some behind. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pitchers of silver"

I was in the groove as I approached the turn around. I kept scanning the crowd for Amanda who was ahead of me; I figured we could "high five" on her way in. I was looking for a white shirt but when I finally caught site of her black jacket she was passing me and so absorbed in Amanda land we missed the high five. Oh well, I still had my best running partner and cheerleader. Yes, my sister runs all my races with me via cell phone. As I pass a mile marker I send her a text update and she responds with great little cheers: "4.. you score", "5... you're alive" "6..pick up sticks", "9...you're feeling fine", and my personal favorite, "congratulations.. I knew you could do it.. I love you". I thank God for my sister who has always been there for me... a bond like no other.

I was feeling strong and fast. Okay, so things didn't start out great and I haven't seen one speck of sugar white sand but it's been fun and I seem to be right on my best time so what the heck just run, praise, be thankful I can put one foot in front of the other. Mile 8 and all those training sessions with gazelle like Amanda are paying off. I finish my intervals with a sprint and pass blue jacket lady! Whoo-hoo. Then it hits. Mile 9 the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my knee. I try walking it off for a few seconds as blue jacket passes me. Okay, competitive nature kicks in and temporarily over rides the pain. My mind once again drifts to Lily. She gains a couple of ounces but looses body temp. She maintains her body temp but they have to insert a feeding tube and add a whole 2 calories to fatten her up. Okay Lily if you can keep running so can I.

As the pain increases I slow my pace a little and say good bye to blue jacket as she pulls ahead not to be seen again, I do whatever it takes to take my mind off of the pain. I begin to pray for Christians around the world who are suffering for Christ. Really suffering. Not because they are weekend warriors running a half marathon but because, despite what will happen to them they boldly proclaim the gospel of peace. What is this self induced pain in my knee compared to what they are enduring? As I count off the nations to God where these brothers and sisters live the pain creeps down into my toe and up into my hip. I think about them, these bold believers and continue to run.

Mile 11, all I want to do is quit. I realize though, Lily can't quit. Believers in the 10/40 window can't quit. Jesus didn't quit. "For the joy (you and I) set before Him He endured the cross, despising the shame." I would not quit. I thought about the cross and the hours Christ endured there, just so that, if we so choose, we could be reconciled to God. I ran on.

The finish line is in sight. Soon(?) Lily will go home and life will once again return to "the plan", albeit a new plan. Amazingly I finish with a best time ( and needless to say one less toenail). With our medals, goody bags and aches and pains we head back to the shuttle bus to head home for a well deserved bath and nap. My race is over but Lily hangs in there gaining weight and taking up residence in a bassinet to keep her body temp up. She keeps running as her parents run along side of her cheering her on. The believers I mentioned do not quit but run the race, daily taking up their cross to follow the One who died for them. Keep running.

As we head home, aching in places we didn't know could hurt so much ie: a toe! we begin to plan our next one......

Brother Lawrence said, he concentrated on doing the little things for Him (God), since he was unable to do bigger things.
So often I become discontent in my thoughts because I am not doing greater things for God yet if I adopted Brother Lawerence's attitude all things would become significant and all things would become a gift done for Him.
Recently I got irritated with my beloved (and I was determined he would know it, see it my way, and CHANGE!). Okay, this may seem really trivial (but aren't those the things which get under our skin the most?).... every night when we go to bed, I turn back my husbands covers, fluff his pillow, and put a little chocolate on it (welcome to the Hyatt, right?)... okay, you may think this is silly but it was a simple way of saying, after 25 years, I still love you and I appreciate all you do. I did notice that on the rare occasion he was in bed first the covers were just thrown willy nilly and my side was not even cleaned off (ugh.... one of my ever present piles). I became so irritated that I just had to say something. I tried to tell him, but he deferred to another conversation.... I went to bed irritated. The next night I employed a tactic from a popular preacher, saying, " I feel __________ when you ________." (fill in the blanks with your own petty stuff). That totally back fired as all he wanted to do was eat his supper and relax! (bad timing ladies.... never talk to your husband when he's hungry). So the next morning I took advantage of our porch time to broach it again (why couldn't I just let this go.....Oh no, my flesh was way too involved). After explaining clearly my irritation not only did he not see it my way he reminded me that very early in our marriage I told him do not touch my piles. OUCH!
After our porch time I was so disheartened by my own lack of control over my flesh. What was here-to-fore a gift for my beloved each night had now become something other because I EXPECTED something back. I'm no genius but I'm pretty sure that it is now not a gift when you expect payment in return. It somehow cheapened my gift to him and to our FATHER in heaven (do ALL things unto the LORD).
What's the lesson? If something bugs you in your marriage... BE THE ONE TO TAKE CARE OF IT.... without expecting ANYTHING in return! If you want the shower curtain closed, close it (as a gift to God), if you want the counter cleaned off, clean it, as unto the Lord............ if JESUS, Himself, were spending the night in my house you better believe I'd fluff His pillow and put chocolate on it! Do it. Do it happily. Do it willingly. Die to your self...... and as Nike says, just do it!
Happy Valentines' day

It's a funny thing, the heart....How our hearts begin to fall in love with someone we have never seen. That's what happened though, every time I was pregnant ( and that was a lot!). I found myself falling in love with this tiny person I had never even seen. I would think about them at the oddest times during the day or night. For nine months I felt like I was carrying around a secret in my heart. A secret no one else could know or understand or love. Maybe my husband felt that way too but not being a man I cannot say for sure.
I can't say I understand it but that seems to be happening in my heart now. I begin thinking about our next child, whoever or wherever they may be, and a little smile begins to creep across my heart; sinking into all the cracks and crevices, making a home there. Who knew a heart could have so much room!
Just like when I was pregnant I know this is going to be a long wait. (I was usually two weeks overdue). I know I will have many obstacles to overcome..... but when I was pregnant I was willing to go through ANYTHING to hold that baby...... because I loved him already!
Hang on heart....we are in for the long haul!
(Our next round of paperwork is done)!!!

Remember the game of Mother-May-I? You know the person who is "it" can give orders to people about taking big steps or little steps to see who reaches "it" first. Of course it was totally unfair and rigged because you could always make the person of your choosing win or loose. (yes, I was that callous as a child). We are discovering that the process of adoption is rather like the game of mother-may-I: "take three steps back....one teeny step forward"
I refuse to be disappointed by any of this. In all fairness we were warned that the process can be tricky. It's funny because I have this perfect peace that God is so in this that I cannot despair. To be honest, I wish I felt this way about all areas of my life
I recently received a Voice of the Martyrs update on which the cover was written, "opposition is our opportunity". HHHMMMM? Really? Is that how I view things? I'm pretty sure when I run into opposition of any kind my first inclination is to quit or at least complain. When I have finally run out of myself THEN I turn to God and say "okay, here's an opportunity for you to show up".
Often times opposition is crushing because it can come from unexpected places. It takes us by surprise when it comes from our circle of friends or our church family, or even from within our own family. It hurts us and causes us to doubt if we are doing the right thing. Instead of feeling hurt or doubt myself the next time opposition comes I'm going to see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to share my vision, my passion, my Christ!

Streams in the Desert is one of my favorite devotionals!! God always has a comforting or encouraging word through its pages. Get a copy! Devour it!



“This thing is from me.” 1 Kings 12:24


“Life’s disappointments are veiled love’s appointments.” Rev. C. A. Fox.

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. This thing is from me.

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too? For, “he that toucheth you, toucheth the apple of mine eye.” (Zech. 2:8) You are very precious in My sight. (Isa. 43:4) Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you.

I would have you learn when temptations assail you, and the “enemy comes in like a flood,” that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never
consult your taste, who put you in the background? This thing is from Me. I am the God of circumstances. Thou camest not to thy place by accident, it is the very place God meant for thee.

Have you not asked to be made humble? See then, I have placed you in the very school where
this lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? This thing is from Me, for I am your purse-bearer and would have you draw from and depend upon Me. My supplies are limitless. (Phil. 4:19) I would have you prove my promises. Let it not be said of you, “In this thing ye did not believe the Lord your God” (Deut. 1:32).

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am the Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. I have let earthly comforters fail you, that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolation. (2 Thess. 2:16,17) Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me. I could not get your attention in your busy days and I want to teach you some of my deepest lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.” Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all-prayer.

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil. Make use of it free, my child. Let every circumstance that arises, every word that pains you, every interruption that would make you impatient, every revelation of your weakness be anointed with it. The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things.

Laura A. Barter Snow

“This is from Me, the Saviour said, As bending low He kissed my brow,For One who loves you thus has led. Just rest in Me, be patient now,Your Father knows you have need of this, Tho’, why perchance you cannot see.Grieve not for things you’ve seemed to miss. The thing I send is best for thee.Then looking through my tears, I plead, Dear Lord, forgive, I did not know,Twill not be hard since Thou dost tread, Each path before me here below.And for my good this thing must be, His grace sufficient for each test.So still I’ll sing, Whatever be, God’s way for me is always best.”

From Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles Cowman

I heard on the radio today that "life is about relationships". If this is so then sometimes I wonder how I'm doing in life. Let's face it sometimes I just don't have time to do relationships really well. You know with, ortho appointments and Dr.'s visits and shuffling kids to and from every event known to man who really has time for relationships. And it strikes me as funny that we have to be told that life is about relationships. Did my grandparents have to be told or were they just living them. How about great grands? Did they know that life is about relationships or when someone was sick did they take food without being told to?

How am I doing on relationships? With my kids?...who swear that my greatest ability is to act like I'm listening to them when quite frankly I'm not (I've heard that same story 100 times). My husband?...Yes, I've got this one, oh unless the fact that for the last three weeks I've been asleep long before our usual bedtime chat. Friends?...yep, I've managed to throw in a few phone calls in the pick up line at school. Parents?...I know I called home last week, or was it two? My sister? Yes! Score one!

Okay maybe I'm not as bad as all that at relationships.... but it does leave me to wonder. Maybe I should put this on the top of my list (if I could find it)

I mentioned in my first ever blog that I was on, what Mark Batterson calls, a "Wild Goose Chase". He uses this term to define what it is like to follow the Holy Spirit of God. We do not know where God will take us but we do have a choice as to whether or not we will follow. Well sometimes we have a choice.... somethings are thrust upon us which we would never choose.... our choice comes in how we will walk through those difficult things. We can choose to go through kicking and screaming or we can choose to walk it through with the grace of God. Sometimes we start out with the former but after a time of wrestling with HIM we choose to submit and accept the grace of God for whatever situation we may be in. When my baby choked and was in the hospital ER I was crying out to God to save his life and God spoke very clearly to my heart and said, "Whether this baby lives or dies, I will still be God, I am still on the throne". I knew at that moment that He was in complete control and didn't struggle with Him anymore that night. I had the "peace of God which passes ALL understanding"!! (btw... by HIS mercy that baby is now 12 years old)
God has recently called us to follow HIM into an new unknown. We became aware of some orphans in china through a friend's daughter who is working with them. Now, I have always been aware of the plight of the orphan but it was really just a distant thing in some far off country. I always felt that I would like to adopt but to my shame didn't trust God to provide the resources. At times my husband and I would talk about adopting; we would even go online and look at adoption websites, but the bottom line was always, "we can't afford it right now". Through the mixed blessing of an inheritance this year we now find ourselves in the position to be able to adopt.
It was funny because on the day my husband was driving home from South Carolina, after making funeral arrangements for his mother, I had the thought that we could now afford to adopt. Joe called on his way home and during the conversation he said, "you realize we now have the money to adopt"! Confirmation!!!
I have a friend who calls God, "The Great Overlapper". When HE begins to put something on your heart HE usually puts it before you many different times, in many different ways. God started to do this with adoption. I know HE knows my fragile will and HE needs to confirm HIMSELF to me many times to get the message across! I was in the car one week, everyday at the same time. This may not sound unusual but it is at time when I am hardly ever in the car because I'm usually at home teaching my three younger boys. I turned on my radio which I keep tuned to faith radio and the programming airing at that time was about adoption!!! I'm not kidding. For the entire week!!
You need to understand that even though I realized that we now had the money I was in a HUGE wrestling match with God. I told HIM every reason why I could not adopt...... I'm too old (Ha... I'm always telling my husband we are in the prime of life! 50 is the new 40!) I'm too busy, I had HIM there... after all I was busy.... We have enough children.... HHHMMM... I remembered a dream of my dear friend in which she saw me with all of my children and I said "my time is divided but my love is multiplied". Can you ever run out of love for another child?
I decided to stop wrestling, stop making excuse and start listening. I began to seek out the heart of God on the orphan. Let me tell you it is not difficult to find out how God feels in searching HIS word!! His heart is definitely FOR the orphan. HE definitely wants HIS people to come to the aid of the orphan. I heard Rick Warren's wife speak on the subject and she asked: " Do not ask yourself , what will the government do for the orphan, do not ask what will the philanthropist do but ask what will you do?". I had to ask myself the hard question, am I going to live for myself in this world or realize that my life is not at all about me but something far greater and bigger than I could ever imagine?
So we find ourselves chasing the Wild Goose......

Do you ever feel like you are just going from one day to the next.... same ole, same ole? You have every good intention to do the stuff on your "to do" list but.... your daughter calls and needs to talk, and you have to do certain things...teaching your children, or doing the laundry, cooking supper, then your husband needs you to do something, and before you know it the day has slipped by and you've not done that "to do" list.... again! Well, do not look here for the answer.... maybe a suggestion but definitely not the answer.
This is one of my challenges in this life. Ironically I'm married to the worlds most organized man!!! He loves his list and seems to always get through one and is making another before I've crossed anything off of mine. Truth be told, I've usually lost mine and am trying to remember what was on that one in order to make a new one.
So in my attempt to be organized this year my one change is to live by the list! No really, I can do this!! I think I should post my list somewhere so it won't get lost, maybe on the fridge? No way, too tempting to skip the list and go straight for the fridge. Okay by the phone.... of course that means that I have to keep a pencil there so I can cross things off of my list as they happen. Now if your house is like mine you know that pens and pencils are free for the taking (or so my children believe) so a pencil by my list wouldn't last two minutes before some child came along and pilfered it. HHHMMMM, how does one keep a list, literally?
Okay, back to those days rolling over into weeks, months, years..... we are entering what we so affectionately call "the dark ages". You know, those long winter days where there's nothing on the horizon, just more work, more cold, and less sunlight. Now really is the time to make one small change. I'm going to change my workouts. No, really. If I change my existing workout they will become fresh... Something which I have to learn, therefore keeping my mind alert as well.
So my suggestion to you, start a bible study (precept.org), make a lunch date with that friend you've been meaning to call, change your workout, start a blog:). Make one small change just to make the dark days, well, not so dark. In the mean time I'm going to figure out how to get through my list!!!!