God help us!

    On the 26th of this month, in a landmark decision, the Supreme Court, wiped away the right of the people to vote on an issue and have that vote stand as law. It is not new that our nation is in a cultural war but it seems that we are now a house more divided than ever. We find ourselves drawing out dividing lines as has been done before in our history. The patriots drew lines  because of an oppressive, tyrannical king. The states drew lines over slavery and almost destroyed this nation in so doing. In more recent history lines were drawn over segregation and abortion. We now find ourselves standing to one side or another of a dividing line on homosexual marriage. As a follower of Christ my position is clear and I will not defend that subject here, but rather ask the question, "How did we get here?".

The answer, quite frankly; we fell asleep. More to the point, we abdicated.

To abdicate is defined as:

 1. To cast off, 

2. To relinqish. 

It is noted in the dictionary that it "implies a giving up of a position with no possibility of resuming it".

    During the last century the church made several gross errors. First it decided there was a difference between the secular and the sacred. Then, it fell asleep. The country was secure. We had fought two world wars. We rebuilt our nation. People were living better than they ever had. Why with post war credits, they could build homes, get a degree, and settle into a nice comfortable life. 

When the church awoke they found that the nation was actually in turmoil. There was a generation of people who wanted more. More freedom. More stuff. More passion. And frankly, can you blame them? Who wants to sit in a pew of a sleeping church who has no purpose or passion. Unfortunately, "the more" they looked for was in the secular. 

    For some reason, the church had decided there was a difference between scared and secular. That Christians should quietly live out their lives doing their jobs and attending church on Sundays and never the twain should meet. For some reason many believed that Christians should not get involved in the political arena and that their faith should be shared not verbally but their quiet lives would be a testimony for their neighbors to see. 

    In the last generation we awoke! We find ourselves in a country we don't recognize, wondering how do we fit in, or better yet, what do we do? We are, it seems, in a place with no possibility of resuming our position. That's the good news, because we are no longer in control. We have fallen. Thankfully, we have fallen to our knees and find ourselves crying out to God. Like Habakkuk, we are asking God, "why the wicked flourish and injustice continues?"

Make no mistake, God will answer! He has not fallen nor did He ever sleep. He has brought us back to the place of sacred. There is no secular and sacred within the church! There is only sacred! As we are told over and over in scripture, "whatever you do, do all for the Lord!". Whatever you do! Whatever! When we rise up, when we walk in the streets, when we teach our children (or the children of others), when we go to our jobs, and yes, when we involve ourselves in politics, it is sacred. We, the church, the bride of Christ, cannot divide ourselves into lives of secular and sacred. For the follower of Christ, their is only sacred.

    Do not be afraid my brothers and sisters to engage in this most recent political fray. Engage! Engage the Gospel! Engage Christ! We are His people, His emissaries to a lost and dying world. We have the answer and the answer is Christ Jesus! He is our glory and the only hope that we have. As I have gotten over my anger over the decision of the Supreme Court I find myself looking forward with anticipation. I cannot wait to see the power of God now that we have been brought low. What are our most treasured Bible stories? Daniel in the lions den? David and Goliath? Noah and the flood? Are these not when the faithful child of God found himself in a situation in which only God could conquer? And what of the cross? Did the disciples stand firm at the cross? Heck no! They ran away because they were terrified. But God conquered in this most glorious and final battle ever! Jesus won over sin and death! 

    We find ourselves in the same position as Daniel, David, and Habakkuk. We are now ever dependent on God to fulfill our call to this nation: to go forth and spread the gospel to all people. Let us "look to the author and finisher of our faith" as we run this portion of this race. Let us be faithful, not double minded between secular and sacred! Let us anticipate God's victory in this world.

Thank you

     "Thank you for coming to get me." Her voice was so small amidst the cheering crowd of swim parents that I wasn't sure I heard her right. My oldest daughters whipped around as she surely heard it too. I looked down into her beautiful little face and asked, just to be sure, "What did you say?" She looked back with her almond shaped eyes and said once again, "Thank you for coming to get me."  My heart melted and tears sprang into the eyes of my oldest daughter. She understood. This was not a, "Thanks mom for picking me up at school", or even a "Thanks mom for driving out in the middle of the night , because I changed my mind about spending the night". This was thank you for coming all the way to China to make me yours. She smiled into my face and then was caught up again by the cheering crowd. I hugged her closer to my heart wishing, as all mothers do occasionally, that I could freeze that moment in time.
     I've thought about that, "thank you for coming to get me" statement. I know it was not flippant or light hearted. It was something so deep down inside that tiny heart that understands. She knows that we, "...drove into the night, got on a plane, flew over the rivers, and over the mountains, and even over the top of the world (which we did), all the way to China to bring you home". She knows because she wants to hear the story over and over again. Her story; the one which began with another mother somewhere in China. A mother who tried for four months to care for my beautiful girl and for whatever reason found herself in a situation where she could not. Her story; the one which includes the orphanage where she was given her beautiful name which means, "may the light of the moon keep the dust off of you". Her story; which is about her foster parents who, I am sure, did their best. Her story; a forever family, seven brothers and two sisters, who all adore her. Her story and mine.
     "Thank you for coming to get me." As I lie beside her little sleeping body, listening to her steady breathing those words floated through my brain. I wondered when was the last time I said those words. I thought about what adoption meant for our family; three years, a journey to the other side of the would (coming from a person who is rather claustrophobic, 15 hours on an airplane is not ever something I thought I could do), and the monetary cost. Yet this wasn't really what was foremost in my mind. I thought about sacrifice, but not ours. I was thinking about Jesus. I pictured Him in heaven, laying down His crown and scepter. I thought about Him putting on humanity. Wow, from throne to animal trough! I thought about His 33 year journey which would lead Him to the cross; the brothers who didn't believe Him, the friends who denied Him, and the people to whom He came yelling, "Crucify Him!"The death which He suffered. And, praise God His rising from the dead and returning back to His throne. He did that in order to "come and get me". By His great sacrifice He made it possible for us all to be adopted.
Thank you, Jesus, for coming to get me.

Identifying marks

After the wise men visited Mary and Joseph and gave gifts to The Christ child the Bible tells us that "Mary pondered these things in her heart". I think she was overwhelmed by this great outpouring of love that she just had to hide it in her own heart and treasure it before she was ready to share it with others. This is one reason which I have not shared here our journey to china to get our precious daughter. The other reasons are so much more practical. First, after the birth of each of my children it basically took me three months to feel like life was normal again and I had figured out how to run this household with the addition of another person. Second, I don't have very much alone time to just be able to sit and write. My time right now goes to assuring a little one that she is loved with an everlasting love and that I am not going anywhere! Finally, I'm just plain tired! I've done a lot since coming home from China but that is another story.
     Several years ago I was preparing my morning cup of tea (and when I say cup, I mean the large 32oz turvis tumbler). I placed the tea bag in the cup and poured boiling water in, then placed the cup on the counter. As I turned to get the milk my hand hit the cup and the entire contents spilled on my thigh. Horrified and in excruciating pain I ran to the bathroom, tore off my pajama pants and searched for something to put on it. I grabbed the aquaphor and slathered it on only to realize this was an even bigger mistake! Aquaphor is oil based so it sealed the burn. As my skin began to feel the intensity of this burn I grabbed a skirt, climbed into my car and drove myself to the ER (joe was at an away soccer tournament). As I told the ER nurse what I had done they quickly ushered me back and them proceed to remove the aquaphor. This was as painful as the burn itself but it had to be done in order to put on the right thing; silvadine. The Dr. came in and examined my leg and began to prepare a shot of pain killer I explained that I couldn't take anything strong because I had driven myself. He was concerned with the level of pain I would experience when he treated me but I assured him this was the only way.
      Needless to say, a burn takes a long time to heal and the healing process involves reabsorbing blisters into your skin, caring for the ones that don't and finally the stage of intense itching. My burns healed but left a scar on my thigh which if I lie in just the wrong position still hurts slightly.
     A year and a half ago, in an entirely different hemisphere, on a continent with billions of people, a little girl was chasing her "sister" around the house. They bumped into a table and a bottle of boiling water spilled scalding the feet of the little girl. She was taken to the Dr. who began the long and painful process of healing. Her feet retain the scars of this horrible day and she often recalls the story to me in bits of broken English trying to explain this the best she can. The interesting thing is that she loves to hear the story of my burn and see my scar. She caresses my scar and says "poor mama". She knows. She understands, she identifies.
     Isn't it shocking that out of 43,000,000 orphans in this world God would choose the one who shares an identify mark of pain? Or is it just a testimony to the greatness of our God? Our little girl, once alone and in intense pain has joined a family where her mama bears the same marks! (coincidence? No way!)
     Lest you think this is just my story let me help you to understand this is all of our story. Christ, alone, without pain relievers, forsaken even by the one who loved him most, was crucified. His hands and feet bear the scars of love. He laid down His life that we might live. So each time you have physical pain, His scars testify that He can identify with you. The next time you grieve because of loss or sorrow know that He too identifies. Even when you willfully choose to go against God's best and demand your own way, Jesus identifies for He experienced all sin on the cross. We do not have a savior who is far from us but One who is in the midst of our pain. He cries out to our hearts I know, I understand, I identify with you".

Random thoughts

It is very early, I couldn't sleep. Over the last couple of days I have been to the ear, nose and throat Dr. As well as Pri-med. I've been given four prescriptions (sinus stuff) and one shot in the backside. I couldn't fall asleep last night because of a headache and it woke me again at four am. I can't take my headache medicine because I'm fasting for blood work. I'm telling you all of this because when I woke up this morning not only was I aware of this huge ache in my head but also in there was this chorus floating around. It took me a minute of straining through the headache to figure out the words rolling around in there then I did they went something like this: "How He loves us so, oh how He loves us"

I kind of chuckled thinking it's ironic to be in such incredible pain yet there's God speaking to my heart of His love for me. He wrapped His arms around me and spoke those words to my heart. In the midst of my pain He, like a father, put His arms around me, and said the words each child longs to hear..."I know you're hurting but I love you". Two days ago a friend in my study on prayer commented on a sentence in the book which asked the question, "do you walk around all day with the deep sense of Gods love for you?" (I'm paraphrasing). Now, if you knew something of the last week we've had you might say, like Job's wife, "why don't you just curse God and die?" Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, but we did have several friends with near death emergencies as well as the news that Joes dear step mom is moving into a new stage of cancer. Our hearts are full of the sadness, joys, and brevity and of life on this earth (eternity is not brief but that's another post). Maybe one of the reasons Job didn't curse God, rather choosing to trust Him in the midst of horrible pain, was that he was well aware that God loved Him. I am grateful that God, who in all of His majesty breathed out the stars scattering them across the universe also breathed His whispers of love to my heart.

"All of a sudden, I am unaware of my afflictions by the weight of your glory. And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections for me;oh how He loves us so. How He loves us"

More random thoughts...John, Noble and I are reading, The Mitchell's Five for Victory, a story about a family during WWII. In there story there is a little orphan girl who is eventually reunited with her grandfather. When this happens, Joan Mitchell remarks that "Eunice is no longer an I but now she is a we!" Joan talks about how lonely it must be to be "an I." We immediately thought of our Myra-Frances who, though she doesn't understand yet what it means is a "we" is no longer just "an I". I can't wait for her to discover what it means to be a "we". (although in this house, frankly there can be a little too much we sometimes). The simplified Chinese translation for I Love You is 我爱你....I wonder if God is whispering that to Myra-Frances' heart? (And no, I have not learned Chinese....glorious are the uses of the Internet!)

Random thought three...Sarah just finished reading Gone with the Wind and we were discussing how Scarlet could have had Rhett Butler but kept holding out hope that Ashley loved her. (After watching the movie Sarah was even more shocked! That Scarlett didn't choose Clark Gable!). It is crazy how she help onto little threads of hope of being loved when she could have had all she wanted but was too blind to see it!

I guess these thoughts aren't so random after all, He loves us, oh How He loves us!!!

*The song "How He Loves Us" can be found on iTunes under Me in Motion,

the Lifted up Hands EP

Confession #1. I am a terrible blogger; as I am with anything which requires for than five minutes of my free time. I am not a very disciplined person. I don't have what one of my friends calls, "finishers disease". If something goes unfinished it does not stress me out too much. With those things which must be done I make myself accountable to someone. By hosting the Bible study, I must do my homework. When working out I make sure someone is going to ask if I actually did it; guilt goes a long way with me. Then there are the things which,if left undone would completely run amok: laundry, the mess in my car, child rearing, etc...
Here I will make an attempt at writing a post which makes some sense, though I've already been interrupted about fours times!
Confession #2. Following The Wild Goose is sometimes difficult. Sometimes we don't see the handiwork of God in our current situation. Sometimes we don't hear His gentle voice in our hearts, leading and guiding. Frankly, sometimes I just don't trust Him. If I can't see Him and I can't hear Him then I conclude He must not be working in my life. This clearly is a lie, which I know in my head but sometimes it's so easy to believe. Let me explain....
When I last posted eleven months ago we were deep in the adoption process; getting fingerprints, applying with various government agencies, but most of all, waiting! It seems this process goes in bursts. You have certain things which must be done in a very timely fashion. Once done, you would think you would move on to the next square, kind of like a game of "Candy Land". This is much more like "Chutes and Ladders". At any time the Chinese government can and does change the rules. When this happens you find yourself sliding back down to square one. And so it goes; one giant step forward, three steps backwards. I always hated the game of "Mother may I?"
During this time of waiting, it is so easy to think that God is inactive. That He too is waiting for the Chinese government. How wrong that thinking is! It speaks of a very shallow faith, because faith by its very nature is to trust and believe when you cannot see. So while we were filling out reams of papers and becoming qualified to adopt, life went on.....laundry got done, children got reared and even working out became part of my routine again. Then came August and a day which would change our lives and perspectives. I got the phone call and email I had been waiting for and dreaming of; here was a file of a little girl who needed a forever family. Immediately I called Joe at his office, to hear him declare, "Isn't she beautiful,!" This was the confirmation which I had prayed for, that Joe would know her when he saw her. Quickly we filled out all of the paperwork only to begin the long wait for the Chinese government to send us a letter of approval.
During this waiting period we were allowed to send our daughter packages. We put together a photo album with all of her new brothers and sisters and mommy and daddy. We shipped it off (with a teddy bear) to a land as remote to me as the moon. As she was three at the time I wondered how much she would comprehend. I'm sure she knew that she now had a family, but never having had one before what did that even mean to her?
Confession #3. I am NOT God (but I got a glimpse into His mind during this time).
God's word tell us that He is. Though we have never seen Him in the flesh (except for those who lived at the time of Jesus)does not negate the fact that He exists.
God's word tells us that He works on our behalf. Our daughter has no idea all of the work we have gone through to arrange her adoption. She has no idea of the papers filled out, meetings we've gone to, time spent trying to procure the right documents and of course the thousands of dollars we have spent. She only knows that somewhere she has this thing called family.
God's word tells us that He came once in the flesh and will return a second time. Frankly, though I believe with all my heart that He did come in the flesh in the God/man we know as Jesus the Christ (or anointed one), the coming again is sometimes puzzling to me. How will He come again? Will I know Him when He does? When will this happen? Could it be in my lifetime? Again, I am reminded of our daughter in China who is now four. Does she wonder when or even if we are coming? Does she get up everyday anticipating or arrival and go to bed each night disappointed we did not come for her? With each passing day does she believe less or does she grow stronger in anticipation?

If I could speak to her I would tell her; "We are coming! We are preparing a place for you. We are making everything right. Certain things must happen before we can come, but do not doubt; we will come for you. Noting can stop me!" I will move mountains to get to my daughter and bring her home.
Isn't that exactly what Jesus said to us, "I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and get you" .
With child like faith, I choose to believe Him. I know He is working on my behalf. I know He is making things ready. I KNOW He will come again.

The New Normal

I know I have eaten a lot of words in my life, but what I wouldn't do for an extra hour of sleep right now. (as long as I don't have to give up another hour of daylight to get it). I am beyond tired these days. My doctor assures me it is nothing but I know it feels like something. (since the time of writing this as a draft, we discovered I have Epstien Barr or better known as chronic fatigue).
Enough of my whining! As you know bc most of you were there, we celebrated a most beautiful event in November. Joe gave Elizabeth's hand in marriage to Mr. Evan Hicks. We were so happy for them both. It is a blessed thing to be married. It is like no other relationship on earth. It is so unique that it is definitely God ordained. Marriage is both the best, and at times the worst thing, I have done. It strains everything in my make up to die to my own wants and desires and to live for someone else! What a beautiful picture of Christ; He dies for me that I may live for Him. I am His bride.
We moved right from there into Christmas. Wow, how much do I love Christmas. I love the way it smells; cinnamon and pine. I love they way it sounds. It is never too early for Christmas music. My new fav this year was Stanton Lanier. (December peace). I definitely love the way Christmas looks; trees inside! Yes! I don't care who thought of it first and if it started as a pagan tradition, it was a good idea! I love the way our tree looks; handmade decorations, mementos from all of the places we have been, and of course the angel from Nuremberg! Ok, three things I don't like about Christmas; spending too much, stress of forgetting someone, and lines!
Now we are in a new year. 2011! Wow how does that happen? We are trying to get back into routine. Ha! I'm not sure what that is. Routine is good. It keeps life "normal". (As if there is such a thing as normal....if anyone finds it let me know). Is it normal to feel this tired? Is it normal for a nine year old to be on medication because if they don't do something an even number of times their little life spins out of control? Normal? How normal is it for a child to wait half way around the world waiting for someone to call Mommy, yet no one comes? Oops, i got a little out of control.... Back to routine and the idea that maybe I have a little bit of control over what happens today, (again, HA!)
It is really now February, and I am grateful for another day, another week, another month.I look forward to another beautiful wedding this year. In May, Ben and Rachel will get married. Blessings abound. Soon there after, we hope to be traveling to China to get our daughter! We will let you all know as soon as we know her.

Sleep Schmeep

"But you get an extra hour of sleep!" It's all I hear! Don't those peple realize what is coming? people everywhere, all a twitter over what? an extra hour of sleep! Haven't we been warned over and over again in scripture NOT to be caught sleeping? Yes, but do they care, no, they are selling their soul for an extra hour of sleep!
Have they forgotten what is to follow? Dark!!! Yep, as I gaze out my window at precisely, 4:26 pm the shadows of darkness are already creeping in. By 5:15 it will be black out there. Black when we get out of swimming, black when we get out of bed!
Did these same people pay no heed to the vikings, who in desperation threw a wheel onto the fire then rolled it flaming down the hill; all to tempt the sun to come back! Or maybe we should think of all of the cultures who built their dwellings facing the sun....there was a reason. How about those in the middle east who kept fires burning brightly to help the sun battle the evil darkness.
Do not they realize that with that extra hour of sleep comes, ugh, dare I say it, WINTER! (Okay all of you who live north of me can laugh but there is a reason I settled way below the mason dixon line!). Dont try to tempt me with all thise fluffy thoughts of winter like, sweaters, hot chocoalte and fires....it's all a ruse to try to hide the fact that winter is well, cold and dark.
I'm not buying it people. I will NOT go silently into that good night. i will shout it out.... bring back day light savings time!