I mentioned in my first ever blog that I was on, what Mark Batterson calls, a "Wild Goose Chase". He uses this term to define what it is like to follow the Holy Spirit of God. We do not know where God will take us but we do have a choice as to whether or not we will follow. Well sometimes we have a choice.... somethings are thrust upon us which we would never choose.... our choice comes in how we will walk through those difficult things. We can choose to go through kicking and screaming or we can choose to walk it through with the grace of God. Sometimes we start out with the former but after a time of wrestling with HIM we choose to submit and accept the grace of God for whatever situation we may be in. When my baby choked and was in the hospital ER I was crying out to God to save his life and God spoke very clearly to my heart and said, "Whether this baby lives or dies, I will still be God, I am still on the throne". I knew at that moment that He was in complete control and didn't struggle with Him anymore that night. I had the "peace of God which passes ALL understanding"!! (btw... by HIS mercy that baby is now 12 years old)
God has recently called us to follow HIM into an new unknown. We became aware of some orphans in china through a friend's daughter who is working with them. Now, I have always been aware of the plight of the orphan but it was really just a distant thing in some far off country. I always felt that I would like to adopt but to my shame didn't trust God to provide the resources. At times my husband and I would talk about adopting; we would even go online and look at adoption websites, but the bottom line was always, "we can't afford it right now". Through the mixed blessing of an inheritance this year we now find ourselves in the position to be able to adopt.
It was funny because on the day my husband was driving home from South Carolina, after making funeral arrangements for his mother, I had the thought that we could now afford to adopt. Joe called on his way home and during the conversation he said, "you realize we now have the money to adopt"! Confirmation!!!
I have a friend who calls God, "The Great Overlapper". When HE begins to put something on your heart HE usually puts it before you many different times, in many different ways. God started to do this with adoption. I know HE knows my fragile will and HE needs to confirm HIMSELF to me many times to get the message across! I was in the car one week, everyday at the same time. This may not sound unusual but it is at time when I am hardly ever in the car because I'm usually at home teaching my three younger boys. I turned on my radio which I keep tuned to faith radio and the programming airing at that time was about adoption!!! I'm not kidding. For the entire week!!
You need to understand that even though I realized that we now had the money I was in a HUGE wrestling match with God. I told HIM every reason why I could not adopt...... I'm too old (Ha... I'm always telling my husband we are in the prime of life! 50 is the new 40!) I'm too busy, I had HIM there... after all I was busy.... We have enough children.... HHHMMM... I remembered a dream of my dear friend in which she saw me with all of my children and I said "my time is divided but my love is multiplied". Can you ever run out of love for another child?
I decided to stop wrestling, stop making excuse and start listening. I began to seek out the heart of God on the orphan. Let me tell you it is not difficult to find out how God feels in searching HIS word!! His heart is definitely FOR the orphan. HE definitely wants HIS people to come to the aid of the orphan. I heard Rick Warren's wife speak on the subject and she asked: " Do not ask yourself , what will the government do for the orphan, do not ask what will the philanthropist do but ask what will you do?". I had to ask myself the hard question, am I going to live for myself in this world or realize that my life is not at all about me but something far greater and bigger than I could ever imagine?
So we find ourselves chasing the Wild Goose......