Identifying marks

After the wise men visited Mary and Joseph and gave gifts to The Christ child the Bible tells us that "Mary pondered these things in her heart". I think she was overwhelmed by this great outpouring of love that she just had to hide it in her own heart and treasure it before she was ready to share it with others. This is one reason which I have not shared here our journey to china to get our precious daughter. The other reasons are so much more practical. First, after the birth of each of my children it basically took me three months to feel like life was normal again and I had figured out how to run this household with the addition of another person. Second, I don't have very much alone time to just be able to sit and write. My time right now goes to assuring a little one that she is loved with an everlasting love and that I am not going anywhere! Finally, I'm just plain tired! I've done a lot since coming home from China but that is another story.
     Several years ago I was preparing my morning cup of tea (and when I say cup, I mean the large 32oz turvis tumbler). I placed the tea bag in the cup and poured boiling water in, then placed the cup on the counter. As I turned to get the milk my hand hit the cup and the entire contents spilled on my thigh. Horrified and in excruciating pain I ran to the bathroom, tore off my pajama pants and searched for something to put on it. I grabbed the aquaphor and slathered it on only to realize this was an even bigger mistake! Aquaphor is oil based so it sealed the burn. As my skin began to feel the intensity of this burn I grabbed a skirt, climbed into my car and drove myself to the ER (joe was at an away soccer tournament). As I told the ER nurse what I had done they quickly ushered me back and them proceed to remove the aquaphor. This was as painful as the burn itself but it had to be done in order to put on the right thing; silvadine. The Dr. came in and examined my leg and began to prepare a shot of pain killer I explained that I couldn't take anything strong because I had driven myself. He was concerned with the level of pain I would experience when he treated me but I assured him this was the only way.
      Needless to say, a burn takes a long time to heal and the healing process involves reabsorbing blisters into your skin, caring for the ones that don't and finally the stage of intense itching. My burns healed but left a scar on my thigh which if I lie in just the wrong position still hurts slightly.
     A year and a half ago, in an entirely different hemisphere, on a continent with billions of people, a little girl was chasing her "sister" around the house. They bumped into a table and a bottle of boiling water spilled scalding the feet of the little girl. She was taken to the Dr. who began the long and painful process of healing. Her feet retain the scars of this horrible day and she often recalls the story to me in bits of broken English trying to explain this the best she can. The interesting thing is that she loves to hear the story of my burn and see my scar. She caresses my scar and says "poor mama". She knows. She understands, she identifies.
     Isn't it shocking that out of 43,000,000 orphans in this world God would choose the one who shares an identify mark of pain? Or is it just a testimony to the greatness of our God? Our little girl, once alone and in intense pain has joined a family where her mama bears the same marks! (coincidence? No way!)
     Lest you think this is just my story let me help you to understand this is all of our story. Christ, alone, without pain relievers, forsaken even by the one who loved him most, was crucified. His hands and feet bear the scars of love. He laid down His life that we might live. So each time you have physical pain, His scars testify that He can identify with you. The next time you grieve because of loss or sorrow know that He too identifies. Even when you willfully choose to go against God's best and demand your own way, Jesus identifies for He experienced all sin on the cross. We do not have a savior who is far from us but One who is in the midst of our pain. He cries out to our hearts I know, I understand, I identify with you".

Random thoughts

It is very early, I couldn't sleep. Over the last couple of days I have been to the ear, nose and throat Dr. As well as Pri-med. I've been given four prescriptions (sinus stuff) and one shot in the backside. I couldn't fall asleep last night because of a headache and it woke me again at four am. I can't take my headache medicine because I'm fasting for blood work. I'm telling you all of this because when I woke up this morning not only was I aware of this huge ache in my head but also in there was this chorus floating around. It took me a minute of straining through the headache to figure out the words rolling around in there then I did they went something like this: "How He loves us so, oh how He loves us"

I kind of chuckled thinking it's ironic to be in such incredible pain yet there's God speaking to my heart of His love for me. He wrapped His arms around me and spoke those words to my heart. In the midst of my pain He, like a father, put His arms around me, and said the words each child longs to hear..."I know you're hurting but I love you". Two days ago a friend in my study on prayer commented on a sentence in the book which asked the question, "do you walk around all day with the deep sense of Gods love for you?" (I'm paraphrasing). Now, if you knew something of the last week we've had you might say, like Job's wife, "why don't you just curse God and die?" Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, but we did have several friends with near death emergencies as well as the news that Joes dear step mom is moving into a new stage of cancer. Our hearts are full of the sadness, joys, and brevity and of life on this earth (eternity is not brief but that's another post). Maybe one of the reasons Job didn't curse God, rather choosing to trust Him in the midst of horrible pain, was that he was well aware that God loved Him. I am grateful that God, who in all of His majesty breathed out the stars scattering them across the universe also breathed His whispers of love to my heart.

"All of a sudden, I am unaware of my afflictions by the weight of your glory. And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections for me;oh how He loves us so. How He loves us"

More random thoughts...John, Noble and I are reading, The Mitchell's Five for Victory, a story about a family during WWII. In there story there is a little orphan girl who is eventually reunited with her grandfather. When this happens, Joan Mitchell remarks that "Eunice is no longer an I but now she is a we!" Joan talks about how lonely it must be to be "an I." We immediately thought of our Myra-Frances who, though she doesn't understand yet what it means is a "we" is no longer just "an I". I can't wait for her to discover what it means to be a "we". (although in this house, frankly there can be a little too much we sometimes). The simplified Chinese translation for I Love You is 我爱你....I wonder if God is whispering that to Myra-Frances' heart? (And no, I have not learned Chinese....glorious are the uses of the Internet!)

Random thought three...Sarah just finished reading Gone with the Wind and we were discussing how Scarlet could have had Rhett Butler but kept holding out hope that Ashley loved her. (After watching the movie Sarah was even more shocked! That Scarlett didn't choose Clark Gable!). It is crazy how she help onto little threads of hope of being loved when she could have had all she wanted but was too blind to see it!

I guess these thoughts aren't so random after all, He loves us, oh How He loves us!!!

*The song "How He Loves Us" can be found on iTunes under Me in Motion,

the Lifted up Hands EP